Caitlyn Harkins is an English sophomore, Mustang Daily copy editor and sex columnist.
Valentine’s Day is usually offensive to people who just broke up, got divorced, ended their friends-with-benefits deal, are single in general or just don’t like commercialized holidays. And, since every V-Day advice is basically the same — if your partner likes presents and going out, you should probably oblige — I figured I’d go with something a little different.
How to give a blowjob 101.
I’m not saying you should give a blowjob to your partner as a present on Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, his birthday or Arbor Day. The reason being, if your man likes blowjobs, they should be incorporated into your sex life regularly. If you start treating BJs like, well, a treat, then it signals to your guy that you’re begrudgingly doing it for him. No one wants bitter oral.
If you have hangups about blowjobs, as in previous trauma or general disinterest in oral, let your guy know that is the reason why you won’t go down on him. Then, maybe you two can figure out counseling or some other communication so that everyone gets what they need out of the relationship.
Now, down to the dirty details. Blowjobs are best when given enthusiastically and without begging.
Pull your lips slightly over your teeth so that there is no chance of your pearly whites getting too close to his penis. Drop your tongue and take him into your mouth as far as you can go without gagging.
You can train away your gag reflex if you’re particularly sensitive. Each night, practice brushing your tongue further back while brushing your teeth. It sucks at first, but you’ll eventually desensitize your gag reflex. That tip is usually unnecessary for most people, but for the gagger-extraordinaires, it is pretty handy.
But back to the blowjob at hand, which you should use by the way while you’re blowing him. Wrap around the base of his penis firmly and stroke up and down in rhythm to the motion of your head. It may feel awkward at first, but with practice you’ll get into it.
One of the better aspects of a blowjob is the incorporation of the tongue. While you’re down there, swirl your tongue along the head of his penis, or use it to pressure his penis against the roof of your mouth.
Use your other hand to guide his hips. He’ll probably be naturally rocking during the BJ, and you’ll want to be able to control the tempo.
When it comes time for him to, you know, come, you have several options. Swallowing is probably the easiest way to go. Just take his penis all the way into your mouth, and start swallowing as soon as he starts to ejaculate. Doing that ensures you won’t taste his come for very long.
Spitting is fine too, but make sure there is a trash can or bathroom nearby so that you aren’t running around with a mouth full of come looking for a recepticle.
If having any kind of body fluid in your mouth freaks you out, just take him out of your mouth right before he finishes and jerk him off onto your face or other body part. Men are visual creatures and generally enjoy that kind of spectacle.
Then, be prepared for your guy to fall asleep pretty quickly with a giant grin plastered on his face.
Guys, you are not getting off that easily here. There is some blowjob etiquette that you absolutely need to follow unless you never want to get another BJ from your partner again.
First off, hygiene. If you were out in the blistering sun building homes for charity all day, awesome. But it also means your body smells like balls (so just imagine what your balls smell like) if you haven’t taken a shower since then. Keep it clean.
In regards to pubic hair, some women like seeing a thick happy trail leading to a veritable forest. But just as you wouldn’t like getting a hair stuck between your teeth, your partner won’t either. If it’s gnarly, at least trim it.
Don’t guilt your partner into giving you a blowjob, especially if you rarely or never return the favor. Oral is a two-way street that should be frequently strolled upon in both directions.
While guiding your partner’s head during oral seems like a natural response, don’t do it too forcefully or unexpectedly because your partner may accidentally bite down.
Make sure your partner knows that you’re enjoying what they are doing. Moans, groans and other tips from the dirty talk article published last week can easily be done during a blowjob.
And finally, when you hit the point of no return, let your partner know you are about to come. That way, they can be mentally and physically prepared to spit, swallow, let it fly on them or snowball it back to you.
I hope this gives some of you ideas for the next time you fool around with your partner. As always, say your please and thank you’s, and always return the favor!