Blow his mind with a classic blowjob

Caitlyn Harkins is an English sophomore, Mustang Daily copy editor and sex columnist.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and of course you’ve turned to the trustworthy sex column for advice.

Valentine’s Day is usually offensive to people who just broke up, got divorced, ended their friends-with-benefits deal, are single in general or just don’t like commercialized holidays. And, since every V-Day advice is basically the same — if your partner likes presents and going out, you should probably oblige — I figured I’d go with something a little different.

How to give a blowjob 101.

I’m not saying you should give a blowjob to your partner as a present on Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, his birthday or Arbor Day. The reason being, if your man likes blowjobs, they should be incorporated into your sex life regularly. If you start treating BJs like, well, a treat, then it signals to your guy that you’re begrudgingly doing it for him. No one wants bitter oral.

If you have hangups about blowjobs, as in previous trauma or general disinterest in oral, let your guy know that is the reason why you won’t go down on him. Then, maybe you two can figure out counseling or some other communication so that everyone gets what they need out of the relationship.

Now, down to the dirty details. Blowjobs are best when given enthusiastically and without begging.

Pull your lips slightly over your teeth so that there is no chance of your pearly whites getting too close to his penis. Drop your tongue and take him into your mouth as far as you can go without gagging.

You can train away your gag reflex if you’re particularly sensitive. Each night, practice brushing your tongue further back while brushing your teeth. It sucks at first, but you’ll eventually desensitize your gag reflex. That tip is usually unnecessary for most people, but for the gagger-extraordinaires, it is pretty handy.

But back to the blowjob at hand, which you should use by the way while you’re blowing him. Wrap around the base of his penis firmly and stroke up and down in rhythm to the motion of your head. It may feel awkward at first, but with practice you’ll get into it.

One of the better aspects of a blowjob is the incorporation of the tongue. While you’re down there, swirl your tongue along the head of his penis, or use it to pressure his penis against the roof of your mouth.

Use your other hand to guide his hips. He’ll probably be naturally rocking during the BJ, and you’ll want to be able to control the tempo.

When it comes time for him to, you know, come, you have several options. Swallowing is probably the easiest way to go. Just take his penis all the way into your mouth, and start swallowing as soon as he starts to ejaculate. Doing that ensures you won’t taste his come for very long.

Spitting is fine too, but make sure there is a trash can or bathroom nearby so that you aren’t running around with a mouth full of come looking for a recepticle.

If having any kind of body fluid in your mouth freaks you out, just take him out of your mouth right before he finishes and jerk him off onto your face or other body part. Men are visual creatures and generally enjoy that kind of spectacle.

Then, be prepared for your guy to fall asleep pretty quickly with a giant grin plastered on his face.

Guys, you are not getting off that easily here. There is some blowjob etiquette that you absolutely need to follow unless you never want to get another BJ from your partner again.

First off, hygiene. If you were out in the blistering sun building homes for charity all day, awesome. But it also means your body smells like balls (so just imagine what your balls smell like) if you haven’t taken a shower since then. Keep it clean.

In regards to pubic hair, some women like seeing a thick happy trail leading to a veritable forest. But just as you wouldn’t like getting a hair stuck between your teeth, your partner won’t either. If it’s gnarly, at least trim it.

Don’t guilt your partner into giving you a blowjob, especially if you rarely or never return the favor. Oral is a two-way street that should be frequently strolled upon in both directions.

While guiding your partner’s head during oral seems like a natural response, don’t do it too forcefully or unexpectedly because your partner may accidentally bite down.

Make sure your partner knows that you’re enjoying what they are doing. Moans, groans and other tips from the dirty talk article published last week can easily be done during a blowjob.

And finally, when you hit the point of no return, let your partner know you are about to come. That way, they can be mentally and physically prepared to spit, swallow, let it fly on them or snowball it back to you.

I hope this gives some of you ideas for the next time you fool around with your partner. As always, say your please and thank you’s, and always return the favor!

  • http://xkcd.com/ Hat Guy

    So, you notice the escape sequence problem. If I were to submit this with in incorrect CAPTA, it will still end up in the database.

  • Steve

    As a cal poly alumni I still wander onto the MD website once in a while. What a find this was!! Shame on the commenters who say this doesn’t belong in the school newspaper. Its a sex column! I had sex in college and so did many of my peers. If you can pretend bj’s don’t exist then you can pretend this article doesn’t exist either.

  • Andy

    Has anyone checked to see if this is plagiarized from Penthouse or something? Doesn’t sound like something a 19 year old girl would write…

  • Chase

    I do not find this piece of writing in line with an academy. If this was about sex health, I would tolerate it, however, this is completely out of line with the academy. This article is literally a depiction of pornography. Obviously, this article was not written with intentions regarding scientific, academia, or medical knowledge. How embarrassing. If any of you who think this is ok to be written and published on our school newspaper, why don’t you upload some pictures of pornography and more specifically pictures of folks give blowjobs to go along?????? There is no difference, if that is the case. You people don’t have any logical reasoning. It is the intention, style of the writing……and come on, this is no academia stuff at all. if you find this appropriate, why don’t you question why your sexEd back in Junior High doesn’t let you watch AV to show you how the sentations and pleasures are like. This article is not even SexEd. This is basically porn in writing. Please get this clear.

    • M G

      Websters Definition of Pornography: “The depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement”

      Note that last part there. Intended to cause sexual excitement. I don’t see any intention to cause sexual excitement in this article. It is intended to instruct and inform.

      • Chase

        You say that pornography is intended to cause sexual excitement . Well, you cannot standardize sexual excitement. Perhaps your level of become sexual excited is far beyond this piece of writing, therefore you wouldn’t be affected by this. So lets say, you if you showed me your level of pornography, and I tell you that your piece of pornography does not sexually excite me because I view it as a type of aesthetic and beauty…. And actually, pornography is a material that depicts erotic behavior.

        • Vanessa

          Saying that pornography is anything that excites sexual urges is crazy. Many people are aroused by many weird and unhealthy things. Expanding the definition of pornography to include anything that arouses anyone is completely ridiculous and broad. It would include anything and everything. Pornography needs to actively try to arouse sexual feelings. That does not happen to everyone, although it seems to have had that effect on you.

        • Scott

          I don’t think there’s a suggestion that people can become sexually excited by this article, but that it wasn’t INTENDED by the author to cause sexual excitement, as the definition requires.

    • Austin Mello

      It’s worth noting that this is a sex column, not a sex-ed column. At no point did the author pretend to be doing anything more than that

      And to address your other point, yes, a sex column does belong in a student newspaper. The sooner that we as a culture can remove the hurtful taboos around sex, the sooner we can move forward into a more accepting, healthy, enjoyable world.

      Kudos to everyone who has ever authored our sex column, you’re doing a service to the campus community and putting yourself out there in a big way. I thank you for your openness.

  • Chase

    I do not find this piece of writing in line with an academy. If this was about sex health, I would tolerate it, however, this is completely out of line with the academy. This article is literally a depiction of pornography. Obviously, this article was not written with intentions regarding scientific, academia, or medical knowledge. How embarrassing. If any of you who think this is ok to be written and published on our school newspaper, why don\’t you upload some pictures of pornography and more specifically pictures of folks give blowjobs to go along?????? There is no difference, if that is the case. You people don\’t have any logical reasoning. It is the intention, style of the writing……and come on, this is no academia stuff at all. if you find this appropriate, why don\’t you question why your sexEd back in Junior High doesn\’t let you watch AV to show you how the sentations and pleasures are like. This article is not even SexEd. This is basically porn in writing. Please get this clear.

    • SM

      This isn’t a medical journal put out by the school here — it’s a sex column. Try to understand the difference there.

  • Roxy

    This article is inappropriate. It does not belong in a college newspaper. I support free speech and the content being discussed in a public arena, but it needs to be “within the appropriate context such as the Vagina Monologues, although even VM does not explicitly discuss Bj’s; Orgasms but not BJ’s. This piece is obviously for shock value but it would be better suited for Cosmo or Maxim where one expects to read about the topic. I certainly do not have a problem with someone educating themselves on how to please their partner. Sex should be a pleasurable and sensual experience for both individuals. But it the way the subject is broached that does it a disservice. It is beyond embarrassing for MD and Cal Poly, it is distasteful and more importantly negligent. I wonder what our new President thinks about the caliber of our student body and further, what benefactors will think. I would bet that most parents would prefer for their hard, earned dollars to be better spent on preparing their son or daughter to become young “professionals” who will strive to leave a positive mark on society not contribute to a negative stereotype. Caityln, my feedback for you specifically is that you work to develop a writing style that not only “entertains” but educates and is “informed” on all aspects of the topic before writing about it.

  • Roxy

    This article is inappropriate. It does not belong in a college newspaper. I support free speech and the content being discussed in a public arena, but it needs to be \"within the appropriate context such as the Vagina Monologues, although even VM does not explicitly discuss Bj\’s; Orgasms but not BJ\’s. This piece is obviously for shock value but it would be better suited for Cosmo or Maxim where one expects to read about the topic. I certainly do not have a problem with someone educating themselves on how to please their partner. Sex should be a pleasurable and sensual experience for both individuals. But it the way the subject is broached that does it a disservice. It is beyond embarrassing for MD and Cal Poly, it is distasteful and more importantly negligent. I wonder what our new President thinks about the caliber of our student body and further, what benefactors will think. I would bet that most parents would prefer for their hard, earned dollars to be better spent on preparing their son or daughter to become young \"professionals\" who will strive to leave a positive mark on society not contribute to a negative stereotype. Caityln, my feedback for you specifically is that you work to develop a writing style that not only \"entertains\" but educates and is \"informed\" on all aspects of the topic before writing about it.

  • Michael

    Calm down, you are blowing this way out of proportion. You stated: “…I wonder what our new President thinks about the caliber of our student body and further, what benefactors will think.”

    Are you serious? You believe an article written about blowjobs is going to dampen the school’s reputation? You need to put things in perspective.

    Great job Caitlyn for speaking your mind with an article that most of your intended audience can relate to and possibly learn something from.

    • Sara

      You mean like learning how to gag myself with a toothbrush??? SO glad we have the MD to teach us that one! What will we learn next week?? I have an idea! How about MD teaches girls how to loose weight by gagging themselves with tooth brushes!?!

      • http://148305 A

        Don’t be bitter just because you can’t pleasure a man.

        • Katie

          Here is where all of you horny college guys are wrong. It’s actually girls who are good at AND enjoy giving blow jobs that find this article inappropriate. It’s not the sex or the blow job that offends anyone per se… it’s the language used in this article that seems to be promoting a societal image (think non-college educated porn star) that is not the appropriate for a newspaper representing a college campus should be promoting.

  • Please

    Caitlyn, will you marry me?

  • Roy

    Lets not forget that Bill Clinton was a fan of blowjobs by Ms. Lewinsky in the Oval Office. So if you think this article is an embarrassment to our university, then you should be embarrassed by our government

  • http://www.thetriangle.org Jamie

    Props for writing and publishing this — like it or not prude commenters, sex a major part of college life and should be discussed openly.

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  • Janet

    Her parents must be so proud.

  • Jensen
  • source

    It is not the article in the college newspaper that is so upsetting, it is the fact that in college, the author still does not know what “cum” is. I suppose that speaks to the quality of education, nowadays.

    • CaitlynHarkins

      Hi source,

      Although common usage suggests the spelling should be “cum,” I fall in line with columnists like Dan Savage who prefer to spell the word as “come.” In the Merriam Webster dictionary, under the definition for Come, noun, section 2 j, often vulgar: to experience orgasm. Thanks for pointing that out though!

      -Caitlyn, sex columnist and copy editor

  • Caitlyn, I applaud you

    The controversy over this article is ridiculous. First and foremost, the article is part of a SEX COLUMN. Considering this fact wouldn’t we assume that the author would write about sexual topics? Oral sex (and sex in general) is a large part of not only college, but life as well. Who cares if it is discussed in a school newspaper? I’ve read worse things written on a bathroom stall in the architecture building.
    For all of you who are offended by this article: please get off of your high horse. The MD has the right to print what they want and you also have the right to not read it! The article is not being forced in your face. Turn the page if it bothers you that much. It’s time to face the facts that we are adults now. With adulthood comes issues that we may not like, but that we can choose to ignore.
    Also, the article is not demeaning towards women. Sure, it might be vulgar for some women’s dainty nature but why do we need to be so proper for tips on something as passionate and primal as sex? As to all the slurs towards the author, give me a break. Just because she is courageous enough to talk about oral sex does not mean she is a slut. I am offended by the judgmental nature of some of the readers. Please, next time you think about commenting on an “offensive” article, go back to the library and spend your time studying. No one cares to hear your thoughts on the matter. A sex column is a sex column. If you don’t like the it then don’t read it. If you read the whole article you obviously were interested in it or else you would have chosen to read something else.
    So Caitlyn, keep writing girl because your articles are entertaining and informative. Exactly what they are meant to be.

    • Katie

      http://kinseyconfidential.org/blog/

      Here are some examples of what a REAL sex column article would look like. Sad the Mustang Daily doesn’t understand the principal behind a sex column. The reason this article makes Cal Poly look bad is not that it talks about sex but rather that it embarrassingly fails to actually be a sex column.

      It’s also pretty sad that your own editor doesn’t seem to understand the root of the controversy.

  • Jane

    This whole column is disheartening in that it would cover how to give a blow job but not the health risks involved…gonorrhea anyone? Warts, HPV and herpes can also come of a “mind blowing blow job”.
    Any professional and RESPONSIBLE sex/and or health column would list the risks women face with any sexual encounter.
    Start being responsible if you insist on writing these over-the-top articles.

    • Austin Mello

      Well, to be fair, anyone who came to Cal Poly through some kind of high school education (at least the vast majority of us) has learned about STDs. We’ve had it drilled into our heads, thank you. We know now.

      What they didn’t teach in high school was how to have a healthy sex life. Reproduction is part of animal life, and as it happens, we are animal life, so it’s in our nature to engage in sexual activity. It’s about damn time someone addressed the question of how to do it well.

      Your puritanical hangups have had their time, but they’ve done nothing for human health, happiness, or safety on the whole. We, and you, need to abandon them and go boldly into a future of openness, acceptance, and exploration in all facets of life, sex most definitely included.

  • http://www.wearethesun.com San Diego PR Guy

    Allow me to point out the obvious: Anyone care to guess who the most well-read reporter is at this newspaper?

    p.s.don’t let the puritans get you down.

  • http://www.sextoysdiva.com/ Bilbun

    Blow job and STD are different. How did you connect them both?

  • Joel

    Ok so, i just got accepted to Cal Poly for fall 2011. This is the first article i have read of this Mustang Daily and based on the actual article and the plethora of responses, i am so excited to go to school here!

    • CaitlynHarkins

      Thanks so much Joel! The Mustang Daily publishes many outstanding articles, and I’m proud that mine caught your attention. Please keep reading (and commenting!) on not only this column but our others.

      -Caitlyn, copy editor and sex columnist

  • http://www.villasatmontecito.com Atascadero dude

    memo: kids at cal poly are supposed to be boring and sexless. please make sure all articles in the future comply with this policy.

    that is all.

  • My Mind Has Been Blown

    With “columnists” like this, little wonder California has gone to hell.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cal-Poly-Barefooters/116291658446377 Austin Mello

      Hell is a fairy tale designed to terrify our young into mediocrity and nonentity. It is a threat that aims to make slaves of us all.

      California cannot be going there any more than we’re going to Neverland or Oz. We are, in fact, moving forward. Progress is good, if simply for the fact that it shakes things up. I can confidently say that the state of affairs today in this country, especially in the areas that would have a problem with this article, are disgusting. Our countrymen are banding together to keep down the individual, and you’ve bought into their weapon of mass destruction.

      Abandon your enslavement, own yourself, and join the revolution. Let’s get on with it.

      PS – This is an article about sex. Pretty much everyone does it, and most of those who aren’t wish they were. In fact, look around you, all of the life of which we are aware is doing it. We’re the only living thing capable of stigmatizing our one truly important function. Sex is fun, it’s healthy, just be careful with it and enjoy.

  • Taylor

    We are all going to hell for this blowjob nonsense. The end is near! 2012! Head for the hills!

  • http://ae911truth.org Mrs Murple

    Dear Caitylin:

    Maybe, since this publication is so cutting edge, we can get some stuff about 9/11 being an inside job going?

    Maybe an article about how many of the alleged hijackers have turned up alive and well around the world (true), and 2.3 trillion dollars was announced missing by Rumsfeld on 9/10/01 would be good.

    Probably not your forte, but hopefully you can pass the idea along to someone else at the Daily.

    • Joel

      ^ This TOTALLY sounds like the topics the newspaper’s sex coloumnist should be writing about. As a matter of fact last time was having a wank I got off to pondering quite enthusiastically about whether or not Obama is actually a Muslim. I do hope my sexual desires for irrelevant political ramblings are included in the next sex advice coloumn Miss Harkins decides to bless my day with.

      • MrsMurple

        Dear Joel:

        I asked her to pass it on to someone else on the staff who was more level-headed (not cock-headed).

        I guess you were too busy jotting down blowjob tips to read correctly.

        It’s a sad fact- but there was a packed house when Richard Gage AIA came to Cal Poly- and there was ZERO reporting on it. (He’s an architect who says the official steel building crumbling into nothing story doesn’t make sense).

        Anyway.. I’ve probably filled your blowjob oriented mind with too many thoughts for one day. Perhaps a cool beverage full of alcohol would make things better.

        Anyway Joel.. our country used to be called the USA, America, or the United States. Now we are called the Homeland.

        Let that be a lesson to you young people.

        The Gulf of Tonkin was what got us into Vietnam. It was later proven tobe a faked false-flag incident.

        • Joel

          Oh my…you don’t see it? That is part of the cover up! The editor-in-chief of the daily is in on the twin towers conspiracy and rejected the article from the newspaper, without the coverage…no one will ever know the truth!

          What do you hope to accomplish with this, seriously? Do you except Obama to take the stand and say “Yes Mrs. Murple, Yes Mr. Gage, Yes War veterans, yes students, yes die hard slightly racist patriots who accuse me of being satan, yes creepy conspirators, yes it’s true the United States set up everything. We blew up our own towers because SOMEBODY missplaced $10 bazillion dollars. We faked some stuffs and got you all to fight and die in Vietnam. We tortured people, we lied about just about everything regading Iraq. George W. Bush is really a reptilian king, didn’t you play Super Mario? George Washington was in fact Illuminati and Abraham Lincoln was also a Vampire Hunter. Aliens made Mt. Rushmore and your cellphone is a tracking devce. While im on the topic our HAARP weather machine is responsible for all the most recent natural disasters. Go America, we manipulate and control everything to our divine will. Just thought I would get that off my chest.”
          And THEN what?
          What would be accomplished by the unveiling of these grandeour cover ups? What good could come out of it? We are in a social contract with the government of the United States to abolish said government should the instance arise where they do actually pull off some shady shit like that.
          Is that what you would like? The dismemberment of the United States? Maybe some total anarachy would whip this continent right back up to speed.
          Nothing would be solved. Especially since these people are already dead. Let them rest in peace, without the justification of their deaths ripped from their obituaries just so you can get an “I told you so!”

  • http://www.1on1pussyface.org Frat boys are pussy

    We aren’t really living in the US people! Comon can’t you see!!
    We are all dreaming. The machines found out that one of our computer science majors was hacking away to obtain a red pill and then they used this “Catlyin” to distract him with this “blowjob” nonsense. Meanwhile, getting a blog job from his “girlfriend,” it turns out to be an Agent, Smith.
    Meanwhile we are all still talking about how “USA” plotted an attack againts it’s own soil. WAKE UP PEOPLE!
    TAKE THE RED PILL!!!

  • Anonymous

    College is a place to get an education, grow healthy for your future and career. It is not a place to party, drugs, sex as many stereotype. Don’t blame public policy for not making change. Your part as a student dictates heavily on how the American society will be shaped. You are the people and leaders of tomorrow. You should be focus on your academics and career and responsible citizen than wasting your parent’s money or taxpayers’ money engaging and being in delight of these immoral stuff. How you live your college life is very powerful and can be very provocative and destructive to human nature. Your thoughts shape your actions, your actions shape your who you are, who you are shapes your future. the social and economic norms are in your hands people. And it is up to you to create a healthy society.

  • ian

    everyone love’s blowjobs. everyone. don’t get all worked up about it, it’s not worth wasting your energy.

  • Former Daily Reader

    Dear Caitlyn,

    Please bring back your weekly article. The Mustang Daily hasn’t been the same since it left.

    • LeticiaRodriguez

      Hey Former Daily Reader,

      For personal reasons, Caitlyn will no longer be writing the sex column. We were bummed when she broke the news to us, but we understand her reasoning. Despite your post name, we hope this doesn’t stop you from reading the Mustang Daily permanently.

      — Leticia, editor-in-chief

      • Joel

        She was one of my Calpoly Heroes :( I was so excited to meet her!

        • LeticiaRodriguez

          Joel,

          You can still meet her as she will still be at Cal Poly. She just don’t be writing the column anymore.

          — Leticia, editor-in-chief

  • hootie

    next time add photos.

  • me

    Jesus Christ loves you. Repent of your sinful thoughts and believe in Him so you may be forgiven.

    • b

      Your God certainly does not exist. Want to know what holds this country back? Religion. Centuries of oppression, and even to this day when evolution is witnessed in nature, these herp-a-derps still believe in this nonsense.

  • http://590291 gary

    Amen!

  • http://239245 Austin

    All of you who find this article amusing or good morals should be ashamed of yourselves. Clearly all the rape cases that have been occurring in connection with Cal Poly students should be mistakes you should learn from. However, these kind of articles have blinded you and they all are part of everything of th sex culture of our society. You should be thinking more healthily or these inappropriate content should really be blocked from the internet.

    • Austin has infallible logic

      Yea Austin, you’re completely right. This article is truly the reason behind these reported rapes. Clearly.

      …orrrrr a society which takes a much healthier view of sex and openly discusses issues relating to sex is better off. Sex, it happens. People do it. Every day, all around the world. It’s not a dirty little secret. I bet you think it’s better to NOT educate kids on safe sex, contraceptives, condoms, etc. It’s actually better to educate people. You talk about sex with kids and educate them on how to properly use birth control methods, and you prevent unwanted pregnancies. But i digress. This article is about improving your relationship with intimacy. A healthy relationship most often consists of a happy sex life. Not saying that it’s the basis of the relationship, just a part of it.

      Also, you might want to think about taking a course in grammar.

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  • Destiny Hoth

    I’ve just recently gotten into it and I still get slightly embarrased to do anything for him. He understands but it makes me feel bad that I’m kinda embarassed to do it for him. I’m 19 and it’s so embarrassing lol

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  • Scott

    I’m a dad looking at colleges with his daughter. I’m not a christian, have done my share of drugs, and have been in construction for 30 years, so there’s nothing in any of these columns I haven’t heard before. The issue is not this particular column, but that the fact that there’s a sex column in a school sponsored and funded newspaper at all. What a pathetic cop out to push up readership! Obviously Cal Poly doesn’t have a strong enough journalism department to publish articles of enough interest and value without resorting to Murdoch-tabloid tactics.That’s really challenging your students to stretch themselves, investigate, report, and communicate.

    Let’s be honest here: putting detailed sexual information out in in a public forum promotes promiscuity. Cal Poly San Louis Obispo is officially promoting sexual promiscuity plain and simple. Hardly the function of a supposed institution of higher learning. As I recall, I didn’t need any encouragement at that age.

    Information on all aspects of human sexuality is easily available on the web to those interested. Pushing the information on those who simply want to read a school newspaper is grossly out of line. Kind of parallels birth control- by all means supply free condoms etc. to those interested through the school health office. But don’t put free condom dispensers all over the campus in public areas (like news stands.) I’m sure there’s all kinds of highbrow intellectually enlightened arguments for having a sex column in the official school paper- that are all completely devoid of common sense.

    • College Male

      She’s growing up Scott..time to let her go

  • Jimmy

    This is sexist! Where is the sex column about going down on a female? I need some pointers too!

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