This week, I would like to take a closer look at the word, “skank.” Usually, I fabricate my own definition for my words of the week. But, while doing some research,1 I stumbled across a little Web site called Urban Dictionary.

Since I really could not improve on their definition of the word “skank,” I thought I would go ahead and use it: “Derogatory term for a (usually younger) female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene, flakiness and a scrawny, pockmarked sort of ugliness. May also imply promiscuity, but not necessarily.” Like I said, I feel as though this is a pretty accurate definition. But, to ensure there is no confusion, here are some classic “skank” signs:

1. The appearance of meaningful tattoos (stars, flowers, fish, etc.), especially when located on the lower back
2. The usage of any costume party to show off her bits and pieces
3. Lingerie worn as her outermost layer of clothing
4. Excessive flirtation with other girls’ boyfriends
5. “Accidental” causation of her skirt/dress to reveal a little more than anyone wanted to see
6. The wearing of a shirt as a dress (If you can’t sit down without flashing the world, it’s probably not a good idea.)
7. Bottom of her shirt closer to her breast than her belly button (which is pierced, of course)
8. A tear in her clothing on or near her buttocks
9. Shorts so short the pockets hang out the bottom
10. Shorts unzipped over bikini bottoms
11. Forgetfulness of natural hair color
12. Lack of makeup removal after a long night of partying, followed by the application of more make-up in the morning (You know, those girls in your Friday2 classes who look like hungover racoons.)
13. The wrong assumption that she is too hot to talk to anyone in the room
14. Dancing inapproprately at family functions
15. Likely stripper name used for facebook/myspace identity
16. Clevage in Facebook/MySpace profile picture
17. An emense desire for attention that causes her to forget about a little thing called “standards”

This may have been a little harsh for some of you girls, but sometimes the truth hurts. Besides, there are some good guys that read my column, and I would hate to see any one of them end up with a skank.

Marci Palla is a public policy graduate student and a Mustang Daily humor columnist. “Marci’s Word of the Week” explores some of the more important vernacular of college life, one word at a time.

1. Research that usually consists of people watching, Wikipedia searching and conversing with family, friends and coworkers (my deepest apologies to those who mistook my humor column for a piece of scholarly work).
2. Or even worse, mid-week.